It is very hard to update something every day. I find it very narcissistic (am I spelling it correctly) to talk about a shard of myself every day, as if I can or should produce some original ideas every day. It is going to be a lie if I say so. A short story every day maybe?

But yes. Today I find listening to a nice old song while playing tennis against a wall very satisfying. Today is Brian Mcknight's back at one. I don't know if he is tired about people so focus on a pop song he wrote in his 20s (or 30s?) while he is 54 years old right now and obviously has stepped into a new era of life. That does not bother me. I would count 100 balls returned and pause a bit and do a small ear training exercise to recognize the major scale notes in the song relative to their root. Do a couple of notes and go back to another 100 balls. I could get into flow state with it.

Telling stories without carrying a meaning is hard. Expressing a pure feeling is hard to me, or at least unintuitive. I was reading q1's source code of "subway". It was what I always wanted to build - a simulation of a piece of life. I can spend hours and hours in it. But to create a simulation from scratch that carries a "feeling" - I'm afraid I can't do that. I can create an abstract visual, but I struggle to name it with a feeling unless it is tautological. What is interesting is that, hitting a tennis ball in the right way is unintuitive and it cannot be expressed in words; recognizing a music note uses feeling, not a description. So developing in them sounds like the right way forward, if I'd like to do art at all.

Since I talked about q1's subway, the way she (pardon me if I got it wrong) structure the code is refreshing to me. In the code there will be constructor (a.k.a "new") called without assigning it to anyone. Instead, a parameter is passed into the c'tor with the context it belongs to, and the c'tor registers the object itself to the context. I code for food but can't help feeling so dynamic and, um, "democratic" in a way that there's not a global thing that holds the root objects. Everything moves anywhere. The objects (probably) don't die at all. They just transfer from one place to another like ghosts.